Lessons from Fatherhood

My nearly-five year old son sometimes makes me upset as he intentionally or unintentionally disobeys me. 

There are a couple things I’ve learned from this. 

First, no matter how upset I get with him (and sometimes I get really upset), the last thing I would ever want is to separate myself from him or sever the lines of communication between us. Some of our best conversations and greatest teaching moments happen in the aftermath of his disobedience. He becomes malleable in his humility. 

Second, while I strive to treat him like an adult and peer, my tolerance for his four-year old antics is broad based on how small he is, how little of the world he understands, how limited his knowledge, wisdom, and vocabulary. He has not had the experiences, perspective, social interactions, opportunities, growth or education that I have had, therefore his level of accountability to me is not even close to what I would have, say, for myself. I want him to progress to be like me, I anticipate it, and tutor and discipline him as such, but am patient with his childish ways. 

Third, sometimes he is intentionally rebellious, other times he doesn’t know better. His gentle soul is such that when he gets in trouble he is very ashamed and embarrassed, and will literally hide his face. If, after doing something naughty he goes and hides from me, I stop what I am doing and go find him. We cuddle up and talk it over. If the transgression was in ignorance, it's hardly a blip in the day. 

My son has distinct physical features in his face he has inherited from me, and other features that come from my wife (which softens my heart for him such is my love for her. In fact, he has her eyes, which really isn't fair when I'm trying to be mad at him), and this child is in our image. Looking at his face reminds me of many things, including where I came from, my accountability for him as his creator (Mos. 26:23), and ultimately, how much I love him and the sacrifices I would make for him without hesitation. Sometimes I have to remove his hands from his face and ask him to look at me so he can see my eyes and what they contain for him. Then he knows everything is all right. 

There have been many times in my life that I have sinned and hidden from God. Typically this hiding takes form in lackluster, rote prayers or shallow, short scripture reading, or avoiding the divine altogether. I turn away from God and hide my face from Him. In doing this, I deprive myself of the most important relationship I have with a Savior who is quick to forgive, eager to teach and mold, and so full of love and kindness that to be with Him drives out all desire for sin. A relationship with Him, and the light and truth He brings, is the greatest tool we have to turn from sin. To conquer sin and the world, foster a relationship with Him, and when you stumble, think of Him as the exponentially better, kinder, more patient and loving Father that He is to us, small children. Odds are, if you're reading this blog, you don't sin to openly mock God, it happens because like me you're weak, proud, and foolish, but would really, really like to be better and be with Him. Don't hide, don't hinder your relationship with Him, take your broken heart and contrite spirit from your hiding place and meekly approach. He waits. He has commanded you come to Him (3 Nephi 18:15-25 especially v. 25). 

See also:

Ez 34:12; Luke 15:4; Matt 7:7-11 (3 Nephi 7-11); Teaching of St John Ch 10:8-9 (John 13:36 - 14:1); Matt 18:4; 1 Sam 12:20-24; 2 Nephi 32:8-9; Mosiah 3:19; D&C 136:31-33; Psalm 28 (143:7); Isa 55:8-9; 3 Ne 27:27; Jer 23:24; 2 Chron 7:14; Psalm 27:8; D&C 84: 23; and then finish with D&C 93:1